What have you heard coming out of your mouth lately?
*" Do you need to go potty? Okay, then please stop touching your penis."
*"Yes, Mario is great. No, I don't want to watch you play your game. Because mommy has things to do...like clean. No, I don't really love cleaning."
*"Hey, that's enough back there. Stop hitting your brother. No, it's not okay if he hits you. Yes, even if it's fine with you. No hitting! Do I need to pull this car over into the spanking lane? Yes, that's why those lines are on the highway. That's the area to spank."
*"Um, I don't know what you are talking about? Where would you see a girl's underwear? I didn't know girls wear underwear that doesn't cover their bums. Where would you see this?"
*"No, Lily can't go into the clubhouse. Because she's a girl, we've gone over this. Yes, that's right...because she has a different private. Sure.."
*"No, I am not speeding. I did not just run a red light. Stop saying that. I didn't. You were looking at the light on the other side. When you learn to drive, you can tell me what I am doing wrong. But for now, you are 5 and you can't even drive a go-cart."
*" You can not wear just underwear to the baseball game. Because I said so. Because no one wants to see your underwear. Yes, they are cool. But they are supposed to be private."
*"Please don't walk out here naked. Mommy has friends over. They don't need to see you naked any more times than they already have. Please put on some clothes."
*"Do you need to go potty? Then please stop grabbing yourself in public. Why are you grabbing yourself? Why aren't you wearing underwear? I don't care if it's more comfortable that way. We all need to wear underwear. Well, yes Lily wears a diaper but she's not pottytrained yet. No, I am sure when she is potty trained she will wear underwear."
*"Chocolate milk is white milk with chocolate mixed in. No, it doesn't come from a chocolate cow. Because, there is no such thing as a chocolate cow. God didn't make one. I don't know why. You can ask Him tonight when we pray."
*"Honey, that's not polite. I know you said thank you and she didn't say your welcome. But you can't yell at the lady who held the door for us for not saying your welcome. It's not polite. Well, yes, she wasn't polite either. No, I don't know if her mother taught her manners."
Well, that's all I can think of for now...hope you laughed.