Dear Parker

Dear Parker,
Today, you did something I NEVER thought I would have to deal with as a parent of a child.

You went down for a nap like usual and I didn't hear a peep. I thought you were sleeping.

You

were

not.

At least not right away.

You pooped in your pull-up.

Then, from what I can see at the crime scene...

You took off your pull-up and dropped the poop on the floor.

And judging from the carpet, I believe you stamped through it.

Then you picked up the poop and pull-up and put them in your bed.

(Because that is clearly where they belong?)

Then, I can guess...you looked at your poopy bed and said to yourself...

"No way am I laying in THAT stinky bed."

So...

You pulled your naked self full of poopy-ness and fell asleep in your brothers bed.

You slept for a LONG time.

When you woke up, you immediately peed on the carpet.

Then, I came up to say hello after your nap.

You were so pleased with yourself.

You said: "Come on. Look. I pooped on my bed."

Me: "What?"

You: "I pooped on my bed."

Me: (silent in shock at the scene)

You: "And I peed right there too." (so proud)

I spent the next hour scrubbing carpets, sheets, pillows, you, and me.

I may never recover.

Please don't do that again.

Signed-

Your Mother